An Andover mum left in tears after Waitrose staff allegedly mocked her autistic son has gone viral after posting about the ordeal.

Nicole Rowles visited the supermarket in the Chantry Centre on Monday when she overheard a male security guard and a female employee joking about her 12-year-old boy’s appearance.

**UPDATE BELOW ORIGINAL POST ** Waitrose & Partners John Lewis & Partners Today, along with my 4 children, I visited...

Posted by Nicole Rowles on Monday, October 26, 2020

“My son was wearing his new wig, he likes to dress up as various characters as it’s one of his coping mechanisms.

“Their obvious mockery was hard to ignore, they were laughing and making comments of someone they could both see,” she posted to Facebook.

“I waited around near them listening for something to confirm that it was definitely my son that was being mocked by two adults.

“I didn’t have to wait long for the woman to say with a loud voice "what about that wig though?!’’ followed with a delightful laughter! At this point I turned around (about 15-20 meters away and still clearly able to hear their inconsiderate conversion at full volume) and said to them, ‘That's my son you are making fun of! My 12 year old autistic son!’”

The mother-of-four burst into tears and asked to speak to management and said she was helped by a lovely store assistant who was “clearly embarrassed” by her colleague’s behaviour.

She continued: “As I am stood crying in the store with my three year old waiting for management to come and talk to me, I notice people looking at me and I have never ever felt so emotionally beaten in all of my 34 years! Bearing in mind I still had my innocent boy across in the other shop! After a poor apology from another manager and the details of an area manager who isn't even available this week, I left to ensure my boy wouldn't catch wind of what had just happened.

“Once I got to the bus station, I called my husband and again I broke down crying thinking I was safe to do so as my kids went ahead onto the bus already. Then I felt a strong hug and it was my son! He said "It’s ok mum it doesn't matter what people say".

“My 12 year old son who struggles severely to fit in and often finds his own coping strategies to be able to manage situations ie wigs, strange walks, humming or even acting out scenes when feeling overwhelmed, had more compassion and understanding than your employees! They mocked my boy when he was trying to just cope and do daily things that for everyone else doesn't even need a second thought and that is to enter a store.”

The situation changed when her husband arrived at the store later in his military uniform – which Nicole believes prompted the prepretrator to apologise.

She wrote: “When my husband later went to the store straight from work he was met by an offer of some sweets!

“It’s just not good enough! Seeing as my husband was in his military uniform he drew some attention towards the situation, The store manager named Sarah even went as far as to say that they were not mocking my son. My husband then asked the lady involved directly if making fun of someone’s appearance, mannerisms and in this case wig is not classed as mocking someone? To which the lady just apologised!”

A short-time later the store called her to apologise with the offer of sweets.

A spokesman for Waitrose said: "We are very sorry to Ms Rowles, her son and family for the distress this has caused - this is clearly not acceptable. We are taking this extremely seriously and are investigating as a matter of urgency."  

Nicole wrote: “I am not one to take things to heart or to cause drama but this has deeply affected me and my children on an emotional level.

"The potential damage and knock-on effects this experience could have on my son is something that we will now have to work on and support him through, but no one knows how serious it could be.

"It could be anything from not wanting to leave the house, to reverting years of work on self confidence, to meltdowns or hopefully just a lesson learned that not everyone shines as bright as others.

“I really urge you to train your staff better, sadly this case isn't even "just" education on invisible disabilities but simply on being kind!

“You do not EVER make fun of another person - ever. Especially not a child! Shame on you that in this case you made fun of child who clearly has additional needs - my child.

“I have attached a picture of my son paul takem today just before i entered your store.”

Nicole’s post to social media went viral, attracting hundreds of shares and thousands of likes.

She said she received a “cold” response from Waitrose who asked her what she wanted them to do and offered her a £100 gift card which she declined.

Nicole said she believes all staff should receive hidden disabilities training.

Sadly, she said the incident has had an impact on her son, writing: “I have many people ask how Paul is and sadly this has had an impact on him and not only on Paul but also on one of my daughters in particular. 

“I dont want to go into too much detail at this point because the real focus here is that we need to expect change! A sorry and gift card does not fix the damage done!! Not only to my family but all of the individuals and families who have been impacted by this lack of education and compassion."

A spokesperson for Waitrose said: "We are very sorry to Ms Rowles, her son and family for the distress this has caused - this is clearly not acceptable. We are taking this extremely seriously and are investigating as a matter of urgency."  

Nicole's post to Andover Waitrose in full

Today, along with my 4 children, I visited the Andover store in 'The Chantry Centre'.

We got there at approximately 3:50pm. I walked through the entrance of the store where the doors were flanked by a security guard and a woman I believed to be a store manager (based on her uniform), as I entered I overheard their conversation - they were clearly making fun of someones mannerisms and looks.

I was already on high alert as my 12 year old autistic and ADHD son was about to enter the store just before me, but I asked him to stay with his younger sisters in the shop opposite whilst I quickly ran to get some milk and butter. My son was wearing his new wig today, he likes to dress up as various characters as it's one of his coping mechanisms. Their obvious mockery was hard to ignore, they were laughing and making comments of someone they could both see. Regardless of who it was at this point, I already thought it was disgusting for adults to be behaving this way, especially whilst working and even more so right at the entrance greeting people with that poor customer experience!!

I waited around near them listening for something to confirm that it was definitely my son that was being mocked by two adults!! Low and behold I didn’t have to wait long for the woman to say with a loud voice "what about that wig though?!’’ followed with a delightful laughter! At this point I turned around (about 15-20 meters away and still clearly able to hear their inconsiderate conversion at full volume) and said to them ‘’That's my son you are making fun of! My 12 year old autistic son!’’

The security guard started walking towards me, clearly a little stunned by the fact that he had been caught out! I took a picture of his badge after giving him a little lesson on hidden disabilities, only to then notice he himself has an exemption pass proudly supporting the sunflower on his arm!! The lady however was too much of a coward to face me and walked away at a fast pace, even when I was clearly trying to get her attention. I was then helped by a lovely store assistant who didn't know where to put herself and who was clearly embarrassed by her colleagues behaviour.

As im stood crying in the store with my 3 year old waiting for management to come and talk to me, I notice people looking at me and I have NEVER EVER felt so emotionally beaten in all of my 34 years! Bearing in mind I still had my innocent boy across in the other shop! After a poor apology from another manager and the details of an area manager who isn't even available this week, I left to ensure my boy wouldn't catch wind of what had just happened.

Once I got to the bus station, I called my husband and again I broke down crying thinking I was safe to do so as my kids went ahead onto the bus already. Then I felt a strong hug and it was my son! He said "It’s ok mum it doesn't matter what people say".

My 12 year old son who struggles severely to fit in and often finds his own coping strategies to be able to manage situations i.e Wigs, strange walks, humming or even acting out scenes when feeling overwhelmed, had more compassion and understanding than your employees! They mocked my boy when he was trying to just cope and do daily things that for everyone else doesn't even need a second thought and that is to enter a store!!

When my husband later went to the store straight from work he was met by down-playment [sic] and an offer of some sweets! It's just not good enough! Seeing as my husband was in his military uniform he drew some attention towards the situation! The store manager named Sarah even went as far as to say that they were not mocking my son. My husband then asked the employee (the lady involved) directly if making fun of someones appearance, mannerisms and in this case wig is not classed as mocking someone? To which the employee just apologised!

I should add that after roughly an hour and a half of me leaving the store I recieved a phone call from the employee with a rehearsed apology and of course the offer of sweets!

I am not one to take things to heart or to cause drama but this has deeply affected me and my children on an emotional level! The potential damage and knock-on effects this experience could have on my son is something that we will now have to work on and support him through, but no one knows how serious it could be! It could be anything from not wanting to leave the house, to reverting years of work on self confidence, to meltdowns or hopefully just a lesson learned that not everyone shines as bright as others!

I really urge you to train your staff better, sadly this case isn't even "just" education on invisible disabilities but SIMPLY on being KIND!

You do not EVER make fun of another person! Ever! ESPECIALLY not a child! Shame on you that in this case you made fun of child who clearly has additional needs!! .... my child.

**UPDATE**

Good morning everyone

First of all a massive thank you to everyone who shown us support and taken time out of their day to message or share their own stories.

Its very sad to see how many people have experienced similar ignorant and uneducated encounters.

We have received an overwhelming amount of private messages and we will try reply to them when we get the chance please don't think they are being ignored.

There have also been some generous offers from some people who have followed this story and although we are extremely grateful we just simply cannot accept!

Please understand that we are so touched and grateful but morally it just doesn't sit right. We have been fortunate enough that our post got attention so we would like to use this platform for awareness and to push for changes not for personal gain

Please continue to share your stories through this post so that we can ALL have our voices heard.

After a lot of waiting between responses and a missed appointment I received a disappointing call yesterday from the "Waitrose Customer Care and Social Media Partner’’.

I was informed on the actions taken for the individuals involved and offered a 100 pound gift card .

Sadly the call was very cold and ‘matter of fact’, with no real compassion or empathy it was very clear that" the partners" are not actually seeing what the real issue is.

When I declined the gift card I was asked

"How can we move forward? What would you like to happen? Where would you like this to go?".

I asked what kind of training is given to staff in regards to hidden disabilities and just basic customer care. After a back and forward and attempts to avoid the sad truth I was informed that NO TRAINING is given to the store employees. ( I had this information already from people working for Waitrose who were kind enough to private message me).

She was eager to inform me that she had recieved training but as I said to her its just not good enough. Customer care are there for damage control its a few steps too far up the chain for the training to start!

All STAFF should be given basic training on hidden disabilities or in this case basic customer care! It is ‘’The Partners" in the stores that customers encounter and it is at this stage where the damage is being done! As a business they are failing their customers and their employees!!

The call ended with a referral to the executive team. Without a direct apology to Paul or even a request for me pass an apology to my family. I did inform her that we, more than likely, would be accepting the offer to publicise our story at this point.

The call was recorded on my end for evidence.

I have many people ask how Paul is and sadly this has had an impact on him and not only on Paul but also on one of my daughters in particular . I don't want to go into too much detail at this point because the real focus here is that we need to expect change! A sorry and gift card does not fix the damage done!! Not only to my family but all of the individuals and families who have been impacted by this lack of education and compassion.

We have emailed all the right people but there is protocol that they follow and with the cold manner we have encountered so far I'm not expecting anyone within their company to go out of there way and break with it in order to make us feel like urgency of this is being taken seriously.

I hope you all have a lovely day We will continue to keep you updated

Thank you for your continued support it really has had a huge impact on us