Invitation to join the elite (From Ealing Times)

Invitation to join the elite

5:10pm Thursday 2nd April 2009 in The Weatherman By The Weatherman

Saturday: Some time ago I shocked myself and qualified for membership of Mensa. I had to turn it down to avoid the rest of the office getting jealous at my giant intellect. This morning, I got a letter from the brainiacs society begging me to take up their offer and become a member. For £45 a year, I get to “socialise with lively minds” and “join in debate”. I can do that in the pub, think I’ll turn down their generous offer. Cloudy.

Sunday: Don’t know if I mentioned this before, but I’ve been building a garden table and matching chairs. Well, I’m proud to say I have pretty much finished. The fourth chair was completed on Sunday and all it cost me was £2.20 for a bag of nails. Admittedly, one chair is a bit wonky and the table pitches in a slight slope but, all in all, I’m very proud of my efforts. Next, I think I’ll build a shed. Rain.

Next week: I have this statement to give: Since becoming Weatherman, I have been claiming additional home allowance, which is actually a fish tank where my two fish live. I visit them now and then – it is helpful for my weather reports. However, since the change in climate, I have stopped claiming the money. Everything I did was within the rules. There is no truth in rumours I put “adult weather reports” on my expense account. Dry.