Saturday: So Mr McQueen won, and I was punished for doubting him. Good luck Lee, I'm sure you'll do well. That reality show finished, and I had to plug my addiction with another one. In swept Big Brother for another three months of mindless yet watchable tedium. My money's on Rebecca, though I will say one thing. If Alex wins, I'll devour a whole hat stand. Cloud and rain.

Sunday: Went home to see my parents only to come across problems. A path to my grandma's house has become dangerously overgrown. Enraged, I fired off an email to a councillor, demanding action, even though it was 5pm on Sunday. No sooner had I pressed send, she replied, promising to look into it. I challenge all councillors to come up with similar response rates. Bright.

Next week: Watched some videos of ducks while I was home. I remember when I was about five taking millions of photos of a hedgehog which was on the neighbour's lawn. Twenty years on, and the roles have been reversed, as I am forced to watch video clips of ducks on our lawn. There are only so many clips you can watch before your parents know you're not that interested. Sunny.